STAND UP!

WHEN RELATIONSHIPS COLLIDE — WEEK 4

STAND UP!

Galatians 2:1–14 | Bible Study Notes Summary (9/2/2026)

Pastor Fedrick A. Wilson, Lead Teacher

Central Truth

“Never compromise when the issue is a matter of biblical right and wrong.”

Last week, Abram taught us to STAND DOWN because we don't always have to get our way to solve a conflict. This week, Paul teaches us that there are also moments when Christians must STAND UP. Spiritual maturity is knowing the difference.

We need enough humility to know when to STAND DOWN—and enough conviction to know when to STAND UP.

1. Stand Up for the Truth of the Gospel — Galatians 2:1–5

Paul traveled to Jerusalem with Barnabas and Titus. Because Titus was a Gentile believer, some wanted to impose additional religious requirements upon him. Paul refused to compromise because “the truth of the gospel” was at stake.

Key Lesson: Don't confuse preference with principle. Stubbornness says, “I have to get my way.” Conviction says, “I must remain faithful to God's way.” Jesus is enough, and the church should be careful not to place human barriers where Christ has opened doors.

2. Difference Does Not Have to Mean Division — Galatians 2:6–10

Paul and Peter had different assignments, but the same God was working through both. The church leaders extended the right hand of fellowship to Paul and Barnabas and encouraged them to remember the poor.

Key Lesson: Christian unity does not require uniformity. We can have different gifts, experiences, perspectives, and assignments while remaining united in Christ. Our faith must also move beyond what we believe to how we treat and serve people, especially those in need.

3. Stand Up When Behavior Contradicts Belief — Galatians 2:11–14

Peter had been eating and fellowshipping with Gentile believers, but when certain people arrived, he withdrew because he was afraid of what they would think. Paul confronted him because his behavior was no longer consistent with “the truth of the gospel.” Peter's actions also influenced others—even Barnabas.

Key Lessons: Respect does not eliminate accountability. Don't let fear make you abandon your convictions. And remember: your compromise can give somebody else permission to compromise, but your courage can give somebody else courage to stand.

Before You Stand Up, Ask:

Is this biblical principle or personal preference? Is somebody being harmed, excluded, demeaned, or led away from truth? Am I trying to correct the situation—or crush the person? Have I prayed about it? Can I speak truth while still demonstrating the character of Christ?

You can stand firm without becoming hateful. You can be courageous without becoming arrogant. You can speak truth without abandoning love.

LIVE IT OUT

The lesson gives us three actions for this week:

DRAW THE LINE IN THE SAND — Determine your non-negotiables and make sure they are consistent with biblical teaching.

PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH — Before asking others to live according to biblical principles, make sure they can see those principles demonstrated in your life.

CALL OTHERS TO STAND WITH YOU — Mentor, encourage, and disciple someone else in embracing biblical truth.

Remember

When it's about my ego—I can STAND DOWN.

When it's about God's truth—I must STAND UP.

I won't fight every battle, but I won't run from every battle.

Lord, give me the wisdom to know the difference and the courage to obey.

Next Week — Lesson #5: “STEP IN”

Read 1 Samuel 25:14–17, 23–28, 32–35.

Key Thought: Step in to keep a bad situation from getting worse.

“STAND DOWN”

WHEN RELATIONSHIPS COLLIDE YOUNGS CHAPEL AME CHURCH – IRMO, SC

PASTOR FEDRICK A. WILSON – LEAD TEACHER

Session 3 – Student Bible Study Notes LESSON SUBJECT: “STAND DOWN”

Scripture: Genesis 13:1–18

Tuesday, August 25, 2026 – 7pm

Central Truth:

“I don’t have to get my way to solve a conflict.”

Lesson Goal

To learn that standing down is not always weakness. Sometimes spiritual maturity means surrendering our personal preference, pride, or desire to win in order to preserve peace and relationships while trusting God with the outcome.

I. THE PROBLEM: BLESSINGS CAN STILL BRING CONFLICT

Genesis 13:1–7

Abram had become very wealthy in livestock, silver, and gold. Lot also possessed flocks, herds, and tents. Eventually, there was not enough land to support both households, and conflict developed between their herders.

Key Lessons

1. Conflict is a normal part of relationships.

Even people who love each other can disagree.

2. Growth can create tension.

Abram and Lot were not fighting because they had nothing. Their prosperity created new pressures.

3. MORE blessing requires MORE maturity.

As our families, churches, careers, and responsibilities grow, our ability to communicate and resolve conflict must grow too.

4. Our conflicts affect other people.

Genesis 13:7 notes that the Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land. How we handle disagreements can influence our families, church, workplace, and community.

Reflection

What usually causes the most conflict in relationships today?

II. THE RESPONSE: EVERY FIGHT ISN'T WORTH FIGHTING

Genesis 13:8–9

Abram approached Lot and said they should not continue quarreling because they were family. He then allowed Lot to choose which direction he wanted to go.

Key Principle

The relationship can be more valuable than winning the argument.

Abram could have insisted on getting his way, but instead he took the initiative to resolve the conflict.

Ask Yourself

Before continuing an argument:

• Is this a principle or merely my preference?

• Will this matter five years from now?

• Am I trying to solve the problem or simply prove that I'm right?

• What will winning this argument cost the relationship?

Remember

Standing down does NOT mean:

• accepting abuse

• tolerating injustice

• abandoning biblical convictions

• allowing someone to continually mistreat you

• having no healthy boundaries

Standing down means recognizing when peace is more important than getting your personal preference.

III. THE CHOICE: YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET YOUR WAY TO BE BLESSED

Genesis 13:10–13

Lot looked over the land and chose the well-watered Jordan plain. It appeared to be the better opportunity. Abram allowed him to make his choice.

Key Lesson

What looks best is not always what is best.

Lot made his decision largely according to what he could see. The passage also warns that he pitched his tents near Sodom, whose people were living in serious sin.

Before making a decision, don't only ask:

“What looks good?”

Also ask:

“Where is God leading me?”

IV. THE PROMISE: GOD IS STILL YOUR SOURCE

Genesis 13:14–17

After Lot departed, God spoke to Abram and told him to look north, south, east, and west. God reaffirmed His promise concerning Abram's future and descendants.

Remember

Abram gave Lot a choice, but Abram did not give Lot control over his destiny.

Someone else's decision does not cancel God's purpose for your life.

You can stand down because:

• You don't have to force every opportunity.

• You don't have to manipulate people.

• You don't have to win every argument.

• You don't have to fight for everything.

• You can trust God with what comes next.

When you know God is your source, you don't have to treat every disagreement like your destiny depends on winning.

V. PROTECT YOUR ALTAR

Genesis 13:18

After everything happened, Abram moved near the great trees of Mamre at Hebron, pitched his tents, and built an altar to the Lord.

Conflict changed Abram's circumstances, but it did not destroy his devotion to God.

What does it mean to “protect your altar”?

Protecting your altar means refusing to allow conflict with another person to interfere with what God is doing within you.

Practically:

• Pray before reacting.

• Guard your words.

• Don't allow bitterness to control you.

• Maintain your prayer and worship life.

• Protect your character.

• Establish healthy boundaries when necessary.

• Trust God with what you cannot control.

Remember

“I'd rather lose an argument and keep my altar than win an argument and lose my worship, my peace, and my character.”

LIVE IT OUT

The lesson gives us three practical actions.

1. Focus on the End Result

Evaluate what really matters in the long run and work toward it.

Ask yourself:

“What outcome am I really seeking?”

Peace? Reconciliation? Understanding? Healing? Or simply winning?

2. Humble Yourself

Listen to the other person and speak with humility.

Listening does not mean agreement.

Try saying:

“Help me understand how you see this.”

3. Heal a Relationship

Identify someone who has been hurt by a conflict involving you and, where appropriate, take a step toward reconciliation.

That might mean:

• making a phone call

• apologizing

• listening

• forgiving

• clearing up a misunderstanding

• admitting your part

• establishing a healthier relationship going forward

PERSONAL REFLECTION

Where might God be calling me to “stand down”?

Is there a relationship God is calling me to help heal?

What action will I take this week?

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE

Before responding to your next disagreement, ask:

Does this require me to stand up for what is right—or can I stand down for the sake of peace?

Then remember:

I don't have to get my way to solve a conflict.

NEXT SESSION: STAND UP!

Read: Galatians 2:1–14

Next week we will examine the other side of Christian conflict resolution. There are situations where standing down would mean compromising something that matters.

The next lesson's principle is:

“Never compromise when the issue is a matter of biblical right and wrong.”

Takeaway

We need enough humility to know when to STAND DOWN—

and enough conviction to know when to STAND UP.

“Even Christians Collide”

Youngs Chapel AME Church 7336 Carlisle St. Irmo, SC 29063

Bible Study Series “When Relationships Collide”

Lesson One Highlights & Notes “Even Christians Collide”

Pastor Fedrick A. Wilson, Lead Teacher

Key Outcomes

Youngs Chapel A.M.E. Church held a virtual Bible study launching a 6-week series titled "When Relationships Collide." The session “Even Christians Collide” used Luke 10:38–42 (Mary and Martha) to establish that conflict is universal — even among believers — and that healthy relationships require listening, reordered priorities, and sitting at Jesus' feet before reacting. Discussion organically extended into parenting, communication, and community resilience.

Decisions Made

• Conflict is not inherently bad — it can expose problems, reveal needs, clarify values, and create opportunities for growth, healing, and reconciliation.

• Unity does not require uniformity — a healthy church is one where people learn to love each other while thinking differently, not one where everyone agrees.

• Priority before activity — before doing for Jesus, we must learn to be with Jesus; before reacting, pray and listen. Core Teaching Points • Martha vs. Mary framing: Martha's service was not wrong; the problem was disordered service — outward action that became inwardly anxious and resentful.

• Key insight: Unresolved frustration with people can distort how we see God — leading to thoughts like "nobody cares" or "even God has forgotten me."

• Jesus addressed Martha's internal condition first, not Mary's behavior — teaching that before blaming others, we must ask: Am I tired? Grieving? Carrying old hurt into a new situation?

• Principle vs. preference: Conflicts often arise from treating preferences (style, timing, tradition) like principles (justice, truth, integrity).

• Sitting at Jesus' feet produces: slowing down before reacting, listening before judging, self examination, receiving grace before extending it, and responding from peace instead of pain.

Discussion Highlights

• Distractions in modern life: Social media and phones cited as primary distractions — checking phones before greeting God in the morning was a commonly shared struggle.

• Conflict in families: Arises from unilateral planning, sibling favoritism perceptions, and generational communication gaps.

• Conflict in churches: Music style preferences (gospel vs. hymns), territorial ownership of roles, and pastoral over-control identified as common sources.

• Listening in parenting: Extended discussion affirmed that open, non-judgmental listening builds lasting trust with children; parents who react emotionally or solve too quickly cause children to stop sharing.

• Notable quote — Mother Beulah Bristow: "Do not expect any more of someone else than you are willing to give yourself."

Community Dimension

• Healthy relationships are a form of community power — internal conflict weakens churches, families, and communities collectively.

• A church cannot effectively challenge injustice if it is constantly fighting internally; a community cannot build economic strength if distrust divides it.

Action Items

• All attendees: Read 1 Samuel 24:1–15 in preparation for next Sunday's sermon and next Wednesday's Bible study, titled "It's Not About Me."

• All attendees: Practice a personal retreat with God — silence, prayer, scripture, journaling, or walking — and pray: "Lord, show me where I am distracted, where I am resentful, and where I need to reorder my priorities."

“It’s Not About Me”

Youngs Chapel AME Church – Irmo, SC

Bible Study Series “When Relationships Collide”

Tonight’s Lesson “It’s Not About Me” – 8/19/2026

Pastor Fedrick Wilson, Lead Teacher

Key Outcomes

The session explored how ego and self-centeredness escalate conflict, using David and Saul in 1 Samuel 24 as the central text. Core distinctions were established: justice vs. revenge, forgiveness vs. reconciliation, and humility vs. silence. Participants reached consensus that Christian maturity requires seeing beyond oneself while still speaking truth, setting boundaries, and protecting dignity.

Core Theological Principles

• Conflict worsens when centered on "me" — my feelings, my reputation, my need to win o Conflict gets worse when everything becomes about me—my feelings, my way, my reputation, my need to win. God calls us to respond with humility, self-control, truth, justice, and concern for the other person.

• Not every opportunity is God's permission — David could have killed Saul but chose restraint; having the upper hand does not equal divine authorization for revenge.

• Don't let the crowd determine your character — David's men urged him to act; loyalty based advice is not always wise advice. • Being right and doing right are not always the same thing.

• Humility Does Not Mean Silence— David spared Saul and confronted him directly: "I have not wronged you, but you are hunting me down.

Justice vs. Revenge

• Justice asks: How can what is wrong be made right?

• Revenge asks: How can I make you hurt because you hurt me?

• Christians are called to oppose what is wrong without becoming what they oppose.

• David entrusted judgment to God ("May the Lord judge between you and me") while refusing personal retaliation.

Forgiveness & Boundaries

• Forgiveness = releasing the desire to get even

• Boundary = recognizing that trust and access may need to change

• Both can coexist: "I forgive you, but trust may need to be rebuilt"; "I pray for you, but I may need some distance."

• Forgiveness can be one-sided; reconciliation requires two willing people; restored trust must be earned. • Loving someone does not mean granting unlimited access to hurt, disrespect, or manipulate 1

• Boundaries are a shared responsibility — the person setting the boundary must communicate it clearly and consistently; the other party is responsible for respecting it; if they refuse, you decide what you will and will not participate in.

Participant Insights

• Boundaries play an important role in Christian relationships because loving someone does not mean giving them unlimited access to hurt, disrespect, manipulate, or mistreat you.

• In 1 Samuel 24, David gives us a good example. He refuses to kill Saul and seeks no personal revenge, but he also does not go back into an unsafe relationship with Saul as though nothing happened. He speaks the truth about Saul’s behavior and entrusts judgment to God.

• Forgiveness means I release my desire to get even. A boundary means I recognize that trust and access may need to change.

• Christian boundaries can therefore say: I love you, but I will not allow you to continually mistreat me. I forgive you, but trust may have to be rebuilt. I pray for you, but I may need some distance. I want peace, but peace does not require me to pretend nothing happened.

• And this is important for the lesson “It’s Not About Me.” Not making everything about ourselves does not mean ignoring our dignity, safety, or legitimate concerns. David could show mercy and tell Saul, in effect, “I have not wronged you, but you are trying to take my life.”

• Christian love does not require the absence of boundaries. Sometimes boundaries are what allow us to love without hatred, forgive without becoming foolish, and pursue peace without permitting continued harm.

Additional Reflections – Boundaries in Relationships

In a healthy Christian relationship, both parties have responsibilities concerning boundaries:

• The person setting the boundary is responsible for communicating it clearly, respectfully, and consistently.

• The other person is responsible for respecting that boundary, even when they do not like or agree with it. • Both parties are responsible for honest communication, self-examination, and avoiding manipulation or retaliation.

But here's the important distinction: you are responsible for your boundary; you cannot make the other person honor it. If they refuse, you then decide what you will do.

For example, instead of saying, “You can't yell at me,” a boundary might be, “I want to have this conversation, but if we begin yelling at each other, I'm going to stop the conversation and we can return to it when we're calmer.”

That fits David and Saul very well. David could control his own actions—he would not kill Saul, retaliate, or become like Saul. But David could not control Saul's behavior. Saul was responsible for his own choices. David therefore maintained distance while still refusing revenge.

Application Points (Live It Out)

• Do not make the issue about yourself. • Admit when you have been self-centered.

• Even when you hold the correct position in a conflict, find a tangible way to encourage the other person.

Action Items & Next Steps

• All participants: Read Genesis 13:1–18 in preparation for Sunday's sermon, "Stand Down" 21

• Optional Zoom session: Tuesday evening, August 25th at 7:00 PM to discuss the Genesis 13 lesson before Wednesday's Virtual Prayer Service on August 26th